Of all the topics related to Christianity this is the most difficult one for me to grapple with, as the concept of being given something with zero strings attached was 100% foreign to me for most of my life, plus the concept of being a sinner at birth is hard for me to agree with. If I look at sin though as unaware, unconscious, and deaf to the voice of God then it makes sense to me.
I have written this blog post half a dozen times because each time I kept writing that salvation is based on work or living life according to some perfect concept of life, free from wrong action. For me to understand it I had to bring it down a notch.
I had done everything I could to please my husband, driven by fear that if I didn’t do it just right, I wouldn’t be loved. And occasionally, I would be given love. Any scraps thrown my way in terms of affection, appreciation, and attention were scooped up, but I could never count on when that might be. This is obviously not the whole story. When a friend saw what was going on and suggested I speak to my pastor they both wondered if I had considered divorce. I opened my eyes and was no longer blind.
The love that surrounded me from my friend was overwhelming even when I was incapable of doing much of anything. My friend asked for nothing in return. She showed up on time, she kept her word, she was thoughtful and countless other actions that built my trust up. I started doing things for her but this time instead of cooking, cleaning, and working to get love I was doing it to say thank you. She felt I was deserving of her love just as I was.
Salvation is the same way. It is just given because the Lord has a full compassionate heart and in scripture he tells us his endgame: “I have come so that they may have life, life in its fullest measure.” (John 10:10). This incredible, overwhelming love from God who just wants me to live fully is so unimaginably joyful that I want to say thank you every minute of the day. How do I thank the Lord for this? I emulate the sacrifices he made to serve God and his fellow man. All I know is that at some point in the past I did not face my life honestly and served a man and not God. Salvation was always there. I just needed to see and hear it.
“He answered and said, whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that whereas I was blind, now I see.” (John 9:25). When you realize you have salvation you can then live life serving others not because you have to but because you want to.
-Shira Pacult (a wonderful contributing writer and member of the COBI community)
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