“I’m sorry to say, but you did not get the job. It was a really tough decision.”
I was fully expecting to get this job.
It was going to be the open-door God had for me to walk through so I could have the
paid position I needed to pursue ordination.
But now, this dream was not going to see itself realized.
Here I was in my last semester of seminary, unsure as to what the degree in which I
had worked so hard toward was for.
Jagged edges of freshly shattered glass pierced my heart and my dream.
I did not know this would be just the beginning of a bombardment of disappointments
Our daughter ended up in the hospital.
I lost a mentor.
My brother relapsed again.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
We came to the difficult decision that it was time to leave our church community.
My final seminary capstone paper was on community as the missing element in the spiritual
formation movement and here I was without Christian community.
What do we do with them?
Especially when the voice of God has seemed so clear.
Did we not hear him right?
Did we not pray hard enough?
What did we do that was so wrong?
At first, I got angry and bore my chest and screamed at God using the words of Pat
Benatar, “Hit me with your best shot! Just fire away!”
But then, as the mudslide of disappointments continued to come, I was left in a fetal
position. No more dreams. No more visions. Empty and spent.
What do we do with them?
Especially when we’ve dared to dream and have taken those brave and faithful steps
And then, what do we do when those dreams die?
Does it mean we heard God wrong?
No. I don’t believe so.
What do we do with disappointments?
We can grieve.
There’s definitely a grieving a process to walk through, with a whole range of emotions
to be felt, worked through, and processed.
We can ask ourselves questions:
Who am I?
What do I want?
What have I learned about myself?
What does God have for me right here and now?
We can allow ourselves time to heal.
We can pray, listen, wait, and wonder.
Yes, they are a part of life’s twists and turns.
And yet, as I look back, I can see that maybe it’s not so much about the disappointments
themselves, for life is full of them.
Maybe it’s more about what I do with them.
Maybe it’s more about the choice I have when I encounter them, for I can give them the
power to harden or break me or I can choose to allow them to till and prune my heart.
And then, I can dare to dream again.
If disappointments have hardened you, may our loving Father gently massage free your
If disappointments have broken you, may our good Father hold you and tenderly mold
you back together.
If disappointments have tilled you, may the peace of God shower over you.
If disappointments have pruned you, may the grace of God enrich and germinate the ground in which you stand.
- Guest Writer: Jennie Denney
Dear Crown of Beauty International community, Check out our guest blogger’s website and
blogs. They are so encouraging! Grab a cup of coffee or tea, click on her website, and be
blessed and encouraged as you read the blogs of a godly and talented writer honestly sharing the struggles, perspectives, and victories we all go through at times. Be blessed.
Website and Blog: https://www.jenniedenney.com