As I lay awake at 2AM my mind was going over all of the circumstances that were robbing me of peaceful sleep. My son’s recent break-up. My friend's daughter's admittance to rehab. The stack of final essays I have yet to grade. The business courses I need to translate for our training business. That days furnace explosion which could have burnt down the house. My husband's health as we wait to hear if the radiation was successful. And the ongoing puzzle of how to pay for everything with less than half the income we used to have. All of this in no particular order mind you. Just a reeling, up and down merry-go-round of thoughts. Try as I might, there was no peaceful slumber on my side of the bed.
With a deep breath out I breathed God’s name. Yahweh is the most personal name given in the Old Testament, and at its core it means TO BE. So I breathed God’s name repeatedly and called on the only one I know who can summon peace in the midst of a storm. I needed Yahweh TO BE with me in my sleepless, swirling thoughts.
Jesus said to us - his disciples by extension of our faith: “Everything I’ve taught you is so that the peace which is in me will be in you and will give you great confidence as you rest in me. For in this unbelieving world you will experience trouble and sorrows, but you must be courageous, for I have conquered the world!” (John 16:33).
Peace is not somewhere out there in a trouble-free, Insta-perfect life. Peace is in me. Jesus gifted it to me through his teachings and spirit. And because of that, he says I am entitled to have great confidence as I rest in Him. It’s hard to rest when there is so much to be done, and so much hurt, fear and turmoil in our everyday lives. Resting in confidence and peace seems like a whimsical wish. But it isn’t. Jesus never lied, so this too is TRUE. There is peace in the storm because I have confidence as I rest in him. God, Yahweh, Jehovah - my Everything - is working behind the scenes on every issue dancing around in my head. As I handed them over one by one in prayer, I felt peace in my body and my muscles relaxed. I find rest in the hands of a conqueror, and peacefully doze off, breathing His name.
- Kelly Joyce (a mostly peaceful member of the COBI community)