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Maybe that’s why I feel disappointed…

Yesterday, during my local church’s message, the pastor spoke from Ephesians 2 and emphasized how often we run to people to have our fleshly desires met. The Lord began to engage my thoughts as I looked at my own personal desires that can easily, yet subtlety, become the driving force in which I live out of… I don’t know about you, but I want to be heard by others…and not just heard but understood. I want to be affirmed, to be appreciated and recognized. I want to be considered and valued by those around me. I want to be loved. I want people to sit in my confusion with me and engage in my pity parties when things are difficult. I want…. //but what if many of these responses to needs and wants are being driven by my flesh and misguided // Maybe that’s why I feel disappointed when people don’t seem to satisfy or appease my heart’s desires. What if that’s why I often still don’t feel like I’ve been heard or understood and instead walk away unsure about how I am being viewed or what judgments/assumptions are being made about me? What if God calls His people to sit with one another and weep as one weeps and rejoice as one rejoices, and has a necessary and beautiful purpose for relational community, yet He alone is the One who can truly satisfy what our souls are longing for and wants us f i r s t to come to Him? Perhaps I am driven by my flesh a lot more than I realize, and maybe you are too? Today I sigh and feel sorrow, as I confess to the Lord and look at my misguided flesh, yet my awe of God’s patience and graciousness towards me flutters my heart with hope and yearning to keep growing in this area. God says Nancy (enter your name here), I will protect your heart. I will not disappoint you. I will satisfy your every longing and fulfill your deepest thirst. Come to me and find your rest, my child. Come to me and I will tell you what to do next, if there’s a person you should go to for comfort and encouragement, if there’s a hobby you should engage, if there’s a trip you should go on, etc. Rely on my Spirit, walk in my Spirit, remain in my Spirit. Come to Me and trust that I know exactly what you need. I will sustain you. I will strengthen you. I will provide the grace you need today. I will not disappoint you. I am your peace.

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