If you will allow me, I want to speak specifically to Moms today. A fault that most of us mothers have is to over-protect our children. We don’t want them to get hurt: physically, emotionally, spiritually, or relationally. Consequently, we can become too controlling of their lives. We do not give them enough freedom to walk in their own choices (especially if we feel they are bad choices!). Rather than praying with them, sharing God’s perspective, and praying for them for wisdom in their decision making, we take control and tell them what they must do. This controlling spirit comes out of our own fear and lack of faith. Just as God allowed Paul to struggle in his weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, and in difficulties so that he would grow in his faith and learn to depend on God, we ought to allow our children to go through their own struggles. We should listen first so they feel heard and understood. Then we can talk through their trials while guiding them with principles and perspective. We should pray for them. The younger they are, the more boundaries we should provide for them. But we need to let them go through pain sometimes.
I am not saying this is easy. Today I was praying through Philippians 1:6 which gave me a lot of confidence to “release” my newly graduated son as he begins his adventure as a college student. “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” We have this promise that God will continue to develop them and enable them to mature in Christ. Of course, struggles, trials and suffering develop perseverance and character (Romans 5:3-4). If we always step in and try to prevent all pain and suffering, we interfere in the work of the Spirit to produce godly fruit in their lives.
The Lord loves our children more than we do! Sometimes, He will bring hardship into their lives in order to discipline them so they can become more holy. “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:10-11). Release your children into the Father’s caring hands. Each day ask Him what part you are to play in your children’s lives. If you are afraid to trust Him to care for them, ask the Lord to show you the root of your fear and allow His Spirit to heal you.
Let Jesus become their hero. Though we fail at times as parents, the Lord never fails!